XOXO, Alice St Louis Boudoir Photographer
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XOXO Alice Blog


Consider this my page to tell you all about the raison d'etre of XOXO Alice. My WHY. I'll update with new thoughts and goodies from time to time, so be sure to check in occasionally.

June 27, 2022


Let me tell you about LFJ ~ My abortion story~


Logan Francis Jean was born on April 9th, 2021, and she was so very very wanted. I'm going to tell you a bit about us, her story, and how she came to be here. And why we unequivocally support a person's autonomy over their own body - which includes having the right to safe and legal abortion. Trigger warning, miscarriage and pregnancy loss will be discussed.


Without SAFE and LEGAL abortion, Logan wouldn't be here.

I was never sure I wanted to be a parent... I've always liked kids, but my own? Whew, that sounded like a lot of responsibility! I was happy to have access to safe and affordable birth control via copper IUD for 16 years, until I and my partner decided together that yes! we were ready for this parenting thing. And yeah, I went to about a decade of therapy during that time to try and wrap my head around it all. How fabulous to live in a world where I had the option to PLAN my family, to choose when to bring a new baby into this world.


So, I contacted my OBGYN, had my IUD removed, and got to work making a baby. {brown chicken brown cow} Unfortunately, our journey wasn't an easy one. It took awhile to get pregnant, and once I did, I experienced some losses. One of those losses, the fetus stopped growing but my body wouldn't let go. I was experiencing what is called an incomplete miscarriage, where my body doesn't manage to process and discard the dead tissue on its own. Based on the ultrasound, the fetus had stopped growing around week 6, but we didn't find that out until week 11 due to the way ultrasounds are scheduled. My doctor let me know that I would need a Dilation and curettage (D&C). A D&C is a procedure to remove tissue from inside your uterus. Without this procedure, I was at extreme risk for an infection starting, and eventually leading to sepsis. Untreated, this could have led to my infertility or even death.


So, we scheduled the abortion.


Wait, thats not an abortion some might say. I'm here to tell you that every form we had to sign for the hospital, for the doctors, and for insurance all said 'abortion' on them. Because abortion is a medical procedure that involves removing tissue from inside your uterus. Abortion is healthcare. And I needed one to save my future fertility and my life.


After the D&C we were forced to take a break from trying to build our family because I developed a chronic illness and the medications I had to take weren't compatible with pregnancy. Want to know the ultimate kick to the gut? It is very likely that my first pregnancy and the coinciding hormones are what triggered my illness (Trigeminal Neuralgia) to go from dormant to active. Because, as it turns out, pregnancy is dangerous, even deadly for some people, and it causes permanent, sometimes debilitating, changes to a body. NO ONE should be forced to carry a pregnancy, for this and many other reasons.


Fast forward a couple of years and we had my Trigeminal Neuralgia managed with medications that were safe to use during pregnancy. Except by that time I had just turned 42, and after testing and a round of IVF, we discovered that my own eggs weren't viable for a pregnancy.


Oh yeah, about that IVF... In vitro fertilization (IVF) is one of several techniques available to help people with fertility problems have a baby. During IVF, an egg is removed from the person's ovaries and fertilized with sperm in a laboratory. The fertilized egg, called an embryo, is then returned to the person's womb to grow and develop. Pretty neat, huh?


In what is really the most amazing science, we used my sister's donated eggs and my husband's sperm and a brilliant reproductive endocrinologist (go see Dr MacKenzie Purdy at Kindbody) and created 3 precious embryos. We transferred one of those in July of 2020, and 9 months later Logan was born! Pretty freaking incredible right??! When I say to you that Logan was wanted, I can't possibly convey the depths of that feeling.


But some people who want abortion to be legal also want IVF to be illegal. Or they want to force people to carry any extra embryos that were produced during IVF... whether or not those embryos are viable, have genetic conditions not compatible with life, or pregnancy was dangerous and/or life threatening for the carrier.


We are considering now what to do with our two remaining embryos... because for now, we still have a choice. I won't lie, pregnancy was hard on me. I was sick pretty much for 9 months straight, and developed several rare conditions during the course of the pregnancy... luckily, none of those affected the fetus and Logan was born at a whopping 10lbs 3oz! But they certainly give me and my family pause when considering whether or not I should try and carry another baby. So, for now, we pay to have the embryos remain frozen, while we consider what is best for us. While we PLAN our family, and exercise our CHOICE in doing so.


So. Lets talk $$
After reading my story, you can see that while I've always been pro-choice, things have gotten extremely personal these last few years. We all know that money talks, and while I'll continue to vote, and march in protests, and call my senators, I like to put my money where my mouth is.


I'm donating 50% of your session fee
$200 of any session fee paid to XOXO Alice in the month of July will go directly to The Missouri Abortion Fund. Last month we raised $1700 for them, and this month I'd like to hit $2000. If you were thinking about a session with XOXO Alice anyway, now is the time to make your money count. Pay for your session now and your session voucher is good for the next 12 months (through July 2023).


Missouri Abortion Fund
Our mission at Missouri Abortion Fund (MoAF) (formerly Gateway Women’s Access Fund) is to provide public education and support for people needing reproductive health services, primarily by providing financial assistance to Missouri residents who cannot afford the full cost of abortion care.






Follow this link to purchase you special fundraising session!


Photos are of me
In the green dress, 30 weeks pregnant
In the pink dress, 32 weeks pregnant
Of LFJ, living her best life ❤



May 10, 2022


Y'all, B* is such a 🔥 👑 goddess of a human.


She absolutely killed her session and I'm just in awe of her confidence and the power she exudes in these images.


With her blessing, I want to take a minute to talk about photoshop and bodily autonomy.


I recently watched a tiktok where a woman was horrified to see that her photographer had photoshopped about 40lbs off of her body for her maternity photographs, without her request or consent.


I want to be really clear about how photoshop works in my studio.

My clients get exactly the retouching they want and ask for. We discuss their individual needs in detail. I think it’s incredibly infantilizing and misogynistic to modify a woman’s body or skin without her consent. Some clients may simply say “I’d like the maximum amount of retouching both in my skin and body shape” and we can go from there. Others say they want no retouching, and others specify something in between. The great news is this is something that is fully customizable based on each individual client's desires.

Boudoir and maternity photography are incredibly intimate and personal photoshoots, often filled with a lot of emotion and tied into deep feelings of self-worth. I want you to know that whatever amount of photoshop you choose for your session is the right amount. There is no judgement, ever, from myself or my staff regarding how much retouching a client chooses. But just modifying your skin or body without discussing it, and without your consent? Absolutely not.

B* has psoriasis, and for her final images, the glamorous sexy images she wants to treasure and look at at home, and enjoy both herself and with her partner, she opted to have me photoshop out some spots she found bothersome. However, she also really supports my mission of helping people embrace their natural beauty, with whatever perceived 'flaws' we may have, and gave me permission to share completely unretouched images as well.

All bodies are beautiful and worthy, and I'm so grateful to my clients who celebrate themselves, whether they choose to have their images retouched or not.

September 17, 2021


I'm sure no parents will be surprised by this... but I've just now found the time to take down the maternity leave notice on the contact form on this website... even though I've been back since June! It was way overdue and I was getting a little embarrassed at having that outdated information up :) So, late the game and announcements, I wanted to drop in and say hey! We are open for business as usual.

New things -

1. Sessions are limited to 8 clients a month, which means we are booking out a little further than usual. Keep this in mind when scheduling your session. If you want to have a session in time to have a gift for the holidays ready, get in touch ASAP!

2. We have a new studio space!! I'm so so so stoked on this space, and it is actually in the same building I was in for 6 years before having the studio at home for a few years. Having a baby, especially while Covid numbers are still high, moving the studio back out of the house just felt like the right thing to do. The space has tons of exposed brick, beautiful wood floors, giant windows, and of course all of my personal touches. It is similar enough to my previous space, and a lot of the props and furniture are the same, so you can except the same look and vibe as you see throughout my portfolio.

3. Things are really hopping over in my client group over on FB. We've created a wonderful community of women and non-binary people who support each other, give advice, uplift, and basically just hype each other up. We tell jokes, we share our joys and accomplishments, we talk about our challenges and frustrations, and we give great advice on wear to buy bras or tweezers, among other things. Come and join us if you are on FB... just be sure and answer the two questions so that I can quickly approve you joining the group.

4. I run model calls from time to time and those are always going to be announced in the FB group first. So for real, click on that link above and join us! Model calls usually come with some excellent financial incentives.

5. Listen, I know its early, but I'm ALREADY working on my Black Friday deals! Once again, details are going to be posted in that FB group first. Click here and join us!

Now... Who wants to see a photo of my ridiculously adorable family? Hospital photograph/first family photography by Dana Jacobs, newborn photograph thanks to Ana Brandt, family photograph at home thanks to Dana Jacobs. I recommend them both without hesitation.





April 5th, 2021


VERY EXCITING NEWS AND THINGS!
No, the baby isn't here (quite) yet... although my doctor told me "be ready to have a baby any day" at last Monday's check up, so... I'm (mostly) ready!
I'll be out on maternity leave starting TODAY for 6-8 weeks. I haven't set a hard deadline on that, I'm just going to play it by ear a bit and see how our little family is progressing. I'll definitely keep you all posted.
But yes, the other VERY EXCITING NEWS part! I've officially signed the lease on a new studio space, which happily is in the same building as my last gorgeous space I had before the home studio.
Think giant windows, loads of beautiful light, brick walls, tall ceilings, historic wood floors, wide open space... le sigh, it is really beautiful. I'll be moving in some of my favorite studio furniture pieces and accessories that you already know and love, and picking up some fun new things as well.
So, right before CoVid went down, I had a beautifully full calendar of clients looking forward to coming in... and then closures 🙁 Some clients asked for and were provided refunds, and others were waiting to be the first on the schedule when we re-opened. If you are in that second group, message me and lets get you on the calendar! For now, I'm scheduling starting June 21, but I may bump that up a little depending on how things go at home with a tiny brand new baby ❤
So, email me boudoir@xoxoalice.com if you've been patiently waiting and lets get you scheduled! Please be patient with my replies since this baby will be here before I know it!
In the meantime, I'm sharing a few of my favorite images from pre 2016, when my studio was in the same building. It will give you an idea of the aesthetic and feel of the space... although I'll have some different design elements this time around because I love to keep things fresh.
Also, keep your eyes open for a model call or three, as I get set up in the new space. I'll want some shareable images of the new set up 🙂


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June 24, 2020

How are you doing friends?

I've been busy behind the scenes here working on the best plan for re-opening and for keeping my staff and my clients safe. We have two main hurdles; the inability to social distance or have a client wear a mask during hair and makeup/sanitation of supplies and the fact that my trigeminal neuralgia keeps me from wearing a mask during any extended period of time.

I'm working on some boring liability waiver paperwork that protects me and my clients and will be sort of a new normal in the age of Covid and studio photography. I have an official re-open date of August 1st, and I'm equal parts stressed and ecstatic to start seeing your beautiful faces again.

I have quite a few clients on the waiting list, and I’ll be getting in touch soon to get you all officially back on the schedule and share that new paperwork with you.

I’m looking into getting one of those fancy forehead thermometers… does anyone have a lead on one?? All of the ones I'm finding on amazon have such mixed reviews and I don't want to get a crappy one when I'm trying to keep us all safe! ** update, I found one!

If you are wanting to get on the schedule, get in touch and we will get things set up. I can't wait to see you all


May 15, 2020

When did you hit your limit?

For me, it was this past Tuesday. I have had plenty of ups and downs through all of this, but it all came to a head earlier this week. Everything, all the stress and anxiety and pressure and strangeness piled up on top of some additional life things and bam. I was a crying mess half the day and doing breathing exercises the other half of the day trying to just keep my body as relaxed as possible.

We started a refinance on our home before all of this started, and there were so many delays because of CoVid.. then Tuesday last minute run around for additional paperwork when our closing was already set for today (Friday)!


I'm going through IVF after a years long up and down battle to be able to have a kiddo, and all the hormones and stress just sort of hit me on Tuesday.

I was STILL waiting to see if I would qualify for any of the emergency assistance put into place for self-employed Americans and just so frustrated at the lack of a path, and starting to stress about money after 2 months of being unable to work at the studio.

And I know like you, and my family and friends, these stay at home orders are really starting to wear on us all! We are struggling with the abrupt changes to our routines, with the social isolation, with loved ones or ourselves dealing will sickness, and with the incredible money stress that is coming along hand in hand with this pandemic.

So yeah, Tuesday I was just pushed right over my edge. One of my best friends jokes that Tuesdays are ALWAYS the worst and she certainly isn't wrong about that this week!

The good news is that my general optimism is impossible to permanently squash, and I've been slowly feeling better as the week has progressed. I've been connecting with clients more, and finding new creative ways to create a sense of community with acquaintances and friends. The refi closes tonight! and the IVF journey continues (we are looking at a retrieval early next week, for anyone in the know... so send me good healthy vibes ). Oh, and I finally got a sign that we will qualify for the PUA, which is a huge relief.

Once again, my best tool in all of this has been being patient with myself. I didn't spend too much time beating myself up for falling apart, because I was already feeling beat up enough by life in general. I let myself sit in my feelings, ate a large quantity of ice cream, and went to bed early.

Friends, be patient and loving with yourselves, and those near and dear to you. I'm afraid the new stressors that are here aren't going to let up anytime soon... and we are all just trying out best to get through. Find the little joys where you can, and stop and take some deep breaths when you need them.

Sending you all love and peace from my little sun-filled backyard



May 8, 2020

Soooo... yeah. We have to have a talk friends. Times are hard right now, for a whole lot of people for a whole lot of reasons. The world as many of us knew it has changed, and may not get back to normal for awhile. Maybe you have been lucky enough to find some positives in these radical changes, and maybe you've barely been treading water. Or maybe, like me, you've had both of those on different days... hell, different hours and even minutes it feels like sometimes. Because whatever life is right now, it isn't the 'normal' we were all accustomed to.

Here is the thing. I love you. You are amazing. You are doing your best. Yes, I really believe that you are, because I have to believe that I am. Life is damned hard, for a whole lot of reasons, and we can only do our best with each moment we have. Sometimes that best may mean staying in bed all day but remembering to feed the cat. Other days it may mean showering and working on a garden and getting the things we need from the grocery store. And other days it may even mean reaching out to your loved ones and checking in on them and letting them know that even though you can't be close, you love them.

I wish you grace. Grace for your loved ones, for strangers on the internet, and most importantly, for yourself. Forgive yourself, love yourself, be patient with yourself. Think of the person or being you love most in the world, and think of all the love you feel for them, and then take that love and turn it back on yourself. Treat yourself as specially as you would treat the most dear person in your life.

I have two of my favorite humans to thank for these images.
Jackie Connor Stevenson for the beautiful, sexy, and hilarious photographs, and Kristina Sunshine for the radically awesome hair and makeup. I love you




February 14, 2019

Long post ahead, and a lot more personal than usual.
TW: pregnancy loss, chronic pain

Last week I was able to spend quality time with some of my favorite women. We spent 4 amazing days together for our Galentines gathering, and spent one of those days being in and taking photographs. I faced some fears and got vulnerable, and decided to practice what I preach... I got in front of the camera!

My full time job (and one of my life's passions) is helping women feel amazing through photography. Photography has been my full time job for nearly 15 years, and I've focused on photographing beauty and boudoir for women for the last 8 of those years. And yet, in that time, I've only had my boudoir portraits done twice! I have clients who come to see me once a year and are on their 5th and 6th sessions, and yet I've only put myself in their shoes 2 times! Clearly, I was overdue.

I'm at my heaviest weight. I haven't talked about it much here, but I've hard an incredibly hard two years personally with my health. I was diagnosed with a chronic pain disease called Trigeminal Neuralgia, I had to have foot surgery, and I suffered two losses/miscarriages. That is A LOT to deal with in two short years, and it left me feeling incredibly unsexy. I was focused on just making it through each day, and my feelings about my body and my sex appeal went to the very bottom of the list. I made it through and am starting to see the other side of things with the support of my INCREDIBLE husband, family and friends.

When your body becomes nothing but repeated pain and loss for two years, it is so easy to get lost in all of that. I don't fault myself for it. I did my best. But 2019 is going to be better, because it has to be. So, I made a decision last month. A new start to 2019. A way to say fuck you to this painful Trigeminal Neuralgia disease, and to learn to love my body again. I invited some of my best photographer friends to spend the weekend before Valentine's Day together. To talk, to laugh, to cry, to drink bourbon and play Miss PacMan, and to take some sexy photographs. And yeah... it was the best idea I've had in a year. What an incredible, rejuvenating, soul fulfilling time we had together.

The first image is a few of us together laughing it up and looking like sexy beasts, and the second image is one my ridiculously talented boudoir photographer friend Jackie took of me. I have a lot more favorites I'm looking forward to sharing, but didn't want to wait another minute before sharing a bit of my story and these images I love.


Be in photographs. This is me walking the body positive walk


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February 1, 2019

I would like to chat a bit about 'body positivity' and the body positivity movement. I think there is a general misconception that only 'curvy/plus-sized' women are allowed to belong to and identify with that movement. And although that may be where things started, the movement has grown to encompass so much more.

In my job, I have the honor of getting to know so many different women. These women come from all walks of life, have different skin tones, body shapes, ages, and sizes. And at the end of the day, nearly every woman who comes into my studio is dealing with some level of insecurity. They tell me their stories, their experiences with how others treat and view their bodies, and how that affect their own self-image.

Sometimes (all too often) women who are thin are teased or ridiculed for being 'too thin'. "Eat a sandwich" "Grow an ass" "Anorexic much?" and on and on are some of the hateful things they have to hear again and again. And you know what? It pisses me off! It brings out the same levels of frustration and anger that I get when people tell a bigger woman "Hey fat ass" "Look at the tub of lard" "Please go starve yourself" etc etc.

Guess what? It is never ok to comment on or critique another woman's body. You don't know her life, you don't know her health, and you don't get to assume she is in poor health or that she has some kind of disorder. A woman's body is her business, and hers alone. That is it. End of story. Full stop. If a woman has concerns about her body, she will talk to her doctor, not some random asshole shouting at her from the sidewalk while she is just trying to take a walk.

A* is the last of my 4K Giveaway clients to come in (I gave away 8 sessions in total), and her story really spoke to me. She has dealt with the bullies who think they know something about her, her health and her body. They made her fell less than... less sexy, less womanly, less worthy. And they were full of crap. This woman is GORGEOUS. And hot, and sexy, and beautiful. She is really stunning, from her piercing eyes, to her curves and down her long legs to the tips of her toes. It was my absolute honor to be able to use my camera and skills to show her exactly how beautiful she really is. And that those haters are just dead wrong. No one gets to decide how a woman should feel about her own body except that woman herself.

Ladies, love yourselves. Don't let society tell you that you are 'too'. Too fat, too thin, too short, too tall, too pale, too dark, too whatever. The only thing you is your gorgeous, worthy self.


Laughter is sexy, don't be afraid to smile during your photoshootWe have in studio wardrobe to suit all clients stylesA little voyeur fun mixed into a photoshoot is sexy

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6-7-18
I’m making a commitment to represent every woman. The bodies we see in the media are traditionally thin, white and young. I specialize in photographing women, and it’s a personal passion to show women who don’t fit the ‘thin, white, young’ mold they they are just as worthy of sexy photographs as any other woman. Do you not identify with any of those words? Or you do with one or two but definitely not all three?

Please send me an email at boudoir@xoxoalice.com so that I can tell you a little bit more about what I do for women in my studio.

Help me in my pursuit to make my website a showcase of diverse bodies. Help me show the world that all women are beautiful, even and especially when they don’t fit into the little boxes society tells them to. I have some specials available just for you.

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